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在结束段，编辑提到，一个人的价值取决于许多方面，而不仅仅是他的productivity，并且指出了the more we do, the more we're worth这句话其实是错误的。
同时，该段落结尾处也没有重复thesis statement以加强该例子和中心论点之间的联系。
这个故事本身太不新颖了，很难打动阅卷者。
SAT作文的评分标准及阅卷方式
一般来说，审题需要1分钟，确定思路及决定论点和论据需要2分钟，最后还需要2分钟时间对写好的作文通篇阅读校对，以修改一些小错误。
另外，编辑在适当的时候用了一些过渡词（如although, however, yet, but, instead和so等），使文章的逻辑性更加清晰。
Important Reminders:
is poorly organized and/or focused, or demonstrates serious problems with coherence or progression of ideas
I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life, than on the nature of those events themselves
It would be preferable if we did not have to pay such a high price to learn suchlessons. The Columbia space tragety and the Vietnam War both demonstrate how events perceived as failures can still have value.
Let's consider Julius Caesar, a hero in his own time but regarded, thanks mainly to Shakespeare's play, as a man with mortal failings: vain, superstitious and arrogant. He can no longer be thought of as a hero, but just a man who came to prominence for his actions at a certain point in history. He has his place in the history of the Western world and his face on ancient coins, but scarcely fits our need for a hero for all times whom we can revere.
或者说：虽然人人渴望成功，但那种侥幸的成功是不会长久的，只有经历失败，总结经验教训后获得的成功才是恒久的，等等。
Most people in the world, if asked, will say that they want an honest opinion from their friends and coworkers. Is this really true? There are many things people do or say in their everyday lives that contradict this supposed desire for honesty.
对这个题目，大家首先要明白自己到底要回答什么样的问题？在本题中，问题是：是否有英雄会被永远记住？
The essay gives you an opportunity to show how effectively you can develop and express ideas. You should, therefore, take care to develop your point of view, present your ideas logically and clearly, and use language precisely.
6分范文：
或者说：如果人们只关注成功，就很容易忽视失败给人生带来的正面意义。
可以这么说，在开始段落，你必须正面回答作文题的问题。
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